Goodbye 2011

As I look back at the year that has passed and ponder over all the moments that took place...some sweet , some a little bitter but all in all it has been a good year blessed by Our Lord.

The Shanmugam Family welcomes Bam Bam

Today our family welcomes a new baby ...as my niece Tharishini and her husband Anantha added  a bouncing baby boy into the Shanmugam Family. He was born today at 4.31pm and weighed 3.9 kgs! What joy another boy...the 3rd grandchild into the family...the 1st being Mikkel Rahul who is 5...the 2nd is Reshven Rheul  who is nearly 2 and very sadly whom I have not see due to some silly family conflicts...and now the 3rd who is yet to be named...but we call him Bam Bam.

My parents had 8 boys and me the only girl...and they had 16 grandchildren with 9 granddaughters and 7 grandsons...and now they have 3 great grandsons..wow they would have been so proud and elated. The family has now got 37 members and sadly we have lost 5 of them...my two older brothers Mohan and Vijay and my nephew Dheepak and my late parents. Actually many say when we have family gatherings we do not need to invite anyone else. And we were One Malaysia from before the term was introduced as there are Chinese , Punjabis and Eurasians in the family. 

Well this Shanmugam Family has been through many trials and have survived and will continue to grow and I thank God everyday for everyone of them as they are a big part of my life and as my mum always told me that she is leaving this big family to me to continue the tradition of family gatherings so that everyone is united. I have always made an effort with my dear husband David who treasures this big family...The Shanmugam Family gatherings will go on no matter what because I want to continue what my father and mother have built..and I pray that my children and their cousins will continue doing so. Family gatherings  keep my parents  memories alive because each one of us is carrying a little part of them in us .

PS

Bam Bam has been named Ivaanesh Nadarajan.

These are my darling parents

Mikkel my first grand nephew

Reshven Rheul my second grand nephew

This is my original family in 1971

This is my family with all the extensions in 2009

Chennai Tamil Nadu India

Well we have arrived in Chennai which was Madras formerly and as David says its my country because this is where Tamilians come from..yes my dad is from here and the last time I visited this city was when I was 2...so I do not remember a thing...except for some photos which I have. My mother brought me and my younger brother to Madras to visit with my paternal grandfather and some other relatives. 

David was so excited that he could be driven in an Ambassador car...his dream come true and in the heat of Chennai it was not an AC one. Anyway we made our way to Nugumbakkam to meet our host Mrs Chamu Inderjith whom we got aquainted with when her husband joined Proton recently. She was such a gracious host who just wanted to cook and care for us. After having a beautiful home cooked lunch we made our way to T Nagar for some shopping...my dream come true for more saree shopping. It was crowded and we went into Pothy's and I never wanted to go into any other shop...it was awesome with so much of choices. I could have spent the whole day there but we moved on and went to buy some sandals. And we went to an authentic Chettinad Restaurant for dinner and the food was great. And we retired for the day tired but satisfied that I got some good bargains.

The next day after breakfast which Mrs Inderjith prepared we went jewellery shopping to Padma's Jewels and made a purchase there too. Later we went back for lunch and relaxed and in the evening we went to Marina Beach..again I remembered my mum and I had taken some photos here on 1962. Later we visited Express Mall a large shopping centre which housed all the top brands even Marks and Spencers. We made our way home to have dinner and called it a day.

On the 7th of September we made a quick trip to Pothy's for some last minute shopping and then we had to bid Mrs Inderjith a tearful farewell and made our way to Chennai Airport. Flight left on time and we were going home with such beautiful memories of India and now we know why they call it INCREDIBLE INDIA and we will be back for sure in the future.

Riding in the Ambassador taxi

The wall paintings can be seen along the main roads in Chennai

David and the auto rickshaw

Enjoying a ride in an auto rickshaw

And I will be back to ride in one of these

Hyderabad , Andhra Pradesh , India

Today is my 3rd day in Hyderabad and I have survived this very crowded and busy city. David and I landed at the modern Hyderabad airport on the 1st of September 2011 by Kingfisher Airlines.The flight was good with some very good looking Indian air stewardesses dressed in red. We were met by Anoop..who is Naveen our host's brother. They drove us through the city and we even got onto one of the world's longest elevated highways about 13km long and Hyderabad welcomed us the Vinayagar Charturthi celebrations. We arrived at our guest house..Oyster Habitat situated in one of Hyderabad's prime area...Jubilee Hills. The traffic conditions were slightly better than Bangalore...but the hooting of the horn was the same if not even worse. We left our luggage and went for some authentic Andhra food at Rayalaseema Ruchulu in Jubilee Hills and the food was just awesome. Then we went back to the guest house where we were met by Naveen at the guest house. After a cup of beautiful Bru coffee we headed for Naveen's office for a look around. And later Anoop drove us to Charminar...a small town surrounding a mausoleum..an iconic monument of Hyderabad. This place was dominated by Muslims and had a large number of fruit stalls and an unbelievable row of bangle and jewellery shops. Wow an Indian woman's paradise for shopping of jewellery. After an hour of shopping Anoop took us to Big Dosa for a thosai dinner and we called it a day.

At the Oyster Habitat Guest House.

Large statues of Ganesha welcomed us into Hyderabad

The iconic Charminar

I loved all the bangles I saw.

Having my thosai at Big Dosa

On the next day the 2nd of September 2011...Naveen's driver Malesh picked us up and drove us to Ramoji Film City which is a must if you visit Hyderabad.It was a long drive about 1.5 hours through very crowded parts of the city. The entrance to Film City was truly exciting...seeing as to I love Hindi and sometimes Tamil movies...but for David it was just going to be a sightseeing tour. This film studio is the biggest in the world covering 2000 acres of land . The tour was good as they took us to various places where different scenes of movies were shot...airports , railway stations , houses , streets and the list can go on. The guide also said that many Hindi movies were shot there and that rang a bell for me as I always saw that songs were shot in Film City and I was actually standing on some of those sets. After the tour we were taken to Sitara Hotel for a 5 star lunch and it was just awesome..the highlight of the trip I should say. After a lovely lunch the driver took us back to our guest house . After which David went to nearby Harley Davidson showroom...the first ever in India and Naveen's daughter Nayaki took me saree shopping to Birslay and Neeru's...2 of the famous shopping places in Hyderabad...and I was spoilt for choice.After which our graciuos host Naveen and his family took us to dinner to The Great Kebab Factory...which was famous for its grilled meats. And we sat for dinner and all these beautiful pieces of meat were flashed before our eyes...a feast I should say...and we were full up..and then guess what ...they told us that was the starters!! And then they brought out the briyanis and breads and we just could not eat anymore. A full day of sightseeing and eating I should say.

The grand entrance to Film City

One of the beautiful sets for songs

Yes Hollywood in Hyderabad

Guess what I had my own movie star hero

Lunch at the 5 star Sitara Hotel

And dinner at The Great Kebab Factory

Bangalore , Karnataka , India

Yes it is our first visit to India and we are all excited and at the same time confused because of all the negativity that some people put in our minds about the hygiene and cleanliness of India. But guess what David and I as usual are going with a very open mind to embrace whatever Mother India has to offer us.We boarded the Air Asia flight AK 211 from LCCT and all we noticed was that we were surrounded by 'one race' Indians and this was not even Indian soil yet! The flight was good.

And as we first flew over the vast land of India...David became a bit emotional as both his parents came from this land to ours. We landed in Bengaluru International Airport at about 6.00pm ( Indian Time ) which is 2.5 hours before our time. It was an impressive looking airport with all the modern facilities. And as we stepped out to the arrival area we had to look for the 'right' taxi to take into the city which was 40 km from the airport. We were approached by a man who offered us a ride for 600 rupees. The price was right and we were on our way to the city of Bangalore. And the first thing that David noticed as the driver drove out to the main road was men stopping to take a leak by the roadside...and I thought to myself...Welcome to India!

The drive was long and must have been tedious for the driver who chatted away to David in the little English he knew. The jam was horrific and the driver explained to us that it was also the Christians starting the 9 day Novena to Mother Mary for her feast day on the 8th of September , the Hindus were getting ready for Ganesha Chaturthi on the 1st of September while the Muslims were preparing for Eid Ul Fitr on the 31st of August. So it was a warm welcome for us with these festivities. We arrived at the Justa The Residence Hotel on MG Road which is the main road in Bangalore. The staff were very welcoming and we were also met by David's friend Srini who was waiting for us to arrive. The room they gave was big and beautiful so we laid our things and went the restaurant for dinner with Srini. We had a vegetarian dinner and it was superb and we were served by a very nice waiter , Manoj who was so pleasant an polite. We chatted and I noticed that the locals could speak Kannada the language for Karnataka State as well as Hindi and some even spoke Tamil. We bid Srini bye and we went back into our hotel room to rest for the night...and the TV had so many channels......that finally put us to bed.

On the 30th of August saw us rising early to have breakfast at the restaurant where Manoj served us with hot prathas and sambar and a whole lot of other food. We then took an auto rickshaw to Shivaji Nagar to visit The St Mary;s Basilica Church. The church was so beautiful but located in a very poor location but it was all adorned for the feast day and was filled with people. we offered up some masses...said a prayer while a mass was going on and  we sat awhile to pay homage to Mother Mary. The we took a walk into some dirty narrow streets into Commercial Road where they had 2 rows of shops and within that some awesome saree shops. When you see the dirty streets you would not believe that they have such beautiful shops to sell their sarees. It was irresistible...so I was one very happy person to go into these shops and browse around and I  bought a couple of designer sarees. David was quite happy just looking into the other small shops. we had a lunch of hot thosai and after walking a bit we went back to the hotel to relax and we had dinner there later.

St Mary's Basilica , Shivaji Nagar

Commercial Road , Bangalore

 On the 31st of August it was Eid Ul Fitr or Hari Raya Aidil Fitri as it is known in Malaysia. We had breakfast served by Manoj our favourite waiter and we took an auto rickshaw to Lal Bagh Botanical Gardens. This gardens covers 200 acres of land and housed all kinds of plants and trees. They call Bangalore The Garden City so the visit here was really very fruitful. After which we took the rickshaw to Brigade Road to just potter around and  we had lunch at Subway's after which we came back to MG Road where we were met by an auto rickshaw driver , Rajkumar , who offered to take David to a Royal Enfield motorbike shop. David was thrilled that he was finally getting to see British bikes that are built in India. It was a small shop but worth the visit. After a few photos , the driver took us to Chickpet where we were treated to a sight that we have never seen before...how sarees are made...it was awesome how spools of thread are woven into beautiful silk sarees. Then of course we went to the saree factory outlets where I practically went crazy seeing the most beautifully designed sarees...I could not resist the temptation and bought a few. After which we went back to the hotel to have dinner and relax in front of the TV with the multitude of channels. It was our last night in Bangalore and the next morning we took a Meru Taxi and went to the Bengaluru Airport to board our flight to Hyderabad.

Lal Bagh Botanical Gardens , Bangalore

Lal Bagh

Taking a  drive in the Gardens to see the views

One of the Enfield bikes that we saw

Today I married my best friend

We first met on Deepavali Day in 1972 when I was 12 and he was 15...that seems like a lifetime ago...he was to me just my brother Chandran's classmate from St John's School...and we all called him Netto. He can remember what I wore...a very short dress...well I used to be very slim and had great legs...and on all his consequent visits to our home he only remembers me watching TV with my thick glasses which I wore...so of course there was no attraction between us because he only wanted to be my brother's friend. He used to come to my house on his noisy British bike and just stand outside to talk to my brother.

Then in 1981 when he was a policeman he had come back for a course in Johor Bharu and used to come back to Kl to visit his widowed mum and he used to frequent my home to come see my brother...but Cupid had his ways when we found that we were attracted to each other...of course now I wore contact lenses...and we started to show interest in each other. I got my friend Sooria to invite him for her 21st birthday party because she was going to invite Chandran for herself..and he obliged and came. And it was a full moon lit night and we instantly fell in love and from that day on we started courting and two years later brought us to the altar of marriage.

Today 28 years ago I walked down the aisle in  St Anthony's Church in Jalan Robertson Kuala Lumpur as a young Hindu girl marrying the love of her life a young dashing Catholic man. And as I walked down the aisle with my eldest brother Sugu holding my arm...I thought to myself that all my dreams have come true to have a church wedding..and all my small prayers made at the chapel in Convent Bukit Nanas since I was 7 have been answered by The Good Lord. The wedding was beautiful...and as we stood in front of God and Fr Amalanathan and all our guests to take our vows...as young as we were I was 23 and David was 25+...we meant every word we said to each other..and as we stood on the stairs of the church after the wedding...my mum turned to me and said' You have married the man of your dreams so remember not to nag him as that will drive him away from you'. What sound advice that I practice till today with my husband and children. It was a splendid wedding with much pomp and splendour as David got married in uniform and as we walked out of the church we had 4 sword bearers to lead us out...getting married to a man in uniform is indeed grand. The reception was held in the then Kum Leng Chinese Restaurant in Jalan Pudu as it was tradition in The Netto family..since David's parents , his brother James and his wife Gladys and sister Anne and her husband John did...got married in St Anthony's and had the  reception at Kum Leng. And after most of the guests had left...we left Joe , David's cousin to settle the bills and we went off to The Merlin Hotel which is now  The Concorde on Jalan Sultan Ismail where we spent our first night together as man and wife.

Our honeymoon was memorable as we drove David's old Beetle to Genting Highlands , Frasers Hill and Cameron Highlands over a week and it was perfect.. It was in Camerons that I first tasted strawberries and cream in the Rajah Brooke Lounge.It was a whole week of just being with ourselves and discovering the wonder of us in the midst of nature and the rolling hills. We came back to David's mum's place after a week to see Anne and John off and after a couple of days we went off to Kuching to start our newly married life together...away from everything and everyone...and just the two of us and a whole new relationship to discover....the best thing we did as a newly married couple....and our lives began.

And today after 28 years...I can say I am more in love with David than I ever was...and I am truly thankful to God for having given him to me...and David is a gift I will always treasure all the days of my life...until my breath is taken away from me. My dearest darling you are my best friend and I am so glad I married you on that Saturday 28 years ago.

Our 25th wedding anniversary 2008

Our family

Sandra The German

Sandra and me at my 50th birthday party 2010

We first met Sandra at Sunway Pyramid during an interview Andrew had with TV Eight 3 years ago. Andrew our son introduced her to us as his girlfriend and knowing him so well as parents we thought...oh yeah its just another girl..this time a German...that he has decided to date. Then slowly but surely she came to our home for short visits and with her loving her curries we invited her for our Sunday lunches. This young lady ate our Indian food with her fingers...and we used to make fun that her parents would 'die' if they saw her using fingers which seem so 'primitive'. We enjoyed our Sunday lunches more as the chitter chatter was unstoppable...and she shared with us so much of Germany and her culture which eventually took me , David and Mel to visit Germany this year...and we promised her we will visit again when she is back in Berlin.

Then came our Christmasses ..and Sandra like a Santarina would be waiting at our gate as we returned from mass bearing gifts and chocolates of all kinds all beautifully wrapped. And the first Christmas she shared with us was in 2008 and she absolutely loved the way we welcomed guests the whole day through with food and drinks because back in Germany it was just for family.  Then of course she joined in on all our family functions , weddings and even funerals at times. The Nettos and The Shanmugams made her welcome like she was one of us because she was  family now. Sometimes Andrew  made fun of her speaking certain English words...and we parents would come to her defence...and she would always say she wanted us to be her parents as well...and over time we did become her Malaysian parents.

We have even had holidays with her...when we went to Bangkok Thailand in March of 2009..what fun it was having her around with this small family of just 4. Then in August 2009 we all went to Penang for Anantha and Tharishini's wedding which was such an experience for her. She adorned a salwar kameez for all the home ceremonies and a saree for the Hindu wedding. She looked absolutely gorgeous in anything she wore and of course was the talk on everyone's lips at how she adapted to the Indian culture. That wedding was so much fun...she even managed to get David to dance as he only always sat and watched us dance. We did have good fun and it was a wedding to remember.

Christmas 2010 with Sandra

Andrew and Sandra Christmas 2010

Mel and and her German sister Sandra New Year 2011

Andrew and Sandra New Year 2011

Sandra and Mikkel 2011

David and Sandra during our trip to Bangkok 2009

Andrew and Sandra at Tharishini's wedding in 2009

Sandra and me at Tharishini's Nallenge Ceremony 2009

Sandra and me at Tharishini's wedding in 2009

Sandra and me at Kavin's wedding in 2010

And today is actually her final day in Malaysia as a diplomat of the German Embassy as she returns to Berlin tomorrow to work with the German Government from September 2011. We gave her a fun filled farewell at The Tavern in GAB last night..and she joins us for lunch tomorrow for our wedding anniversary and then she is off...back to her home. She is not returning alone as she has adopted a puppy..Black Label ..whom some heartless people threw out of a window of a car that she saw a few months ago..lucky puppy is going to a good home in Germany.

Sandra as we say bye to you for now...we wish you God's blessings in all you do...thank you for all the joy you have brought into our home and our lives..please remember we are your Malaysian Family and you are most welcome to come back to your Malaysian Home at anytime...we love you  and we will miss you dearly .

Sandra and her Malaysian family July 2010

Cousins are our first friends

The passing away of one of my maternal cousins Sushila or Susi as we fondly know her on the 22nd of August 2011 has prompted me to write about my cousins who if you look back are indeed our first friends. Susi  was a footballer and the former captain of the Malacca team. When I think of my numerous cousins I have on my mum's side 56 to make an estimate I can remember clearly the school holidays we use to have in Malacca where Susi and her siblings Kumar , Vasanthi , Balu , Padman and Sumathi lived with their parents GS Maniam and my maternal Aunty Chandra. My brothers and I fondly called them The Maniam Bunch as there were 3 boys and 3 girls just like the famous Brady Bunch.

Malacca holds many fond memories for me as I feel that much of my growing up was there. You see me being the only girl in the family my dad and mum 'over protected ' me and so when they both needed a holiday by themselves we would volunteer to go to Malacca where we had the most fun in our lives. My father will pack maybe the younger 4 of us in his yellow Toyota 700 which we would call a motorboat as it could go through the flood waters of where we lived in Jalan Ipoh. And we would very happily wave bye to them because as soon as they were out of our sight...it was...let the fun begin.

My poor Uncle and Aunty would put up with so much nonsense from us...from climbing up trees in their gardens...and then suddenly out of the house on bicycles...which sometimes were 'borrowed' from my uncle's friends who came to visit! Uncle Gupta to be one of them. And we would ride out into the then quaint Malacca town which had much much lesser traffic...scale St Paul's and St John's Hills....go to the seaside that was at the back of their home which sadly now is all reclaimed for housing...then ride into Portuguese Settlement to see the 'gragos' as they call them....where the men just lazed around and I think the women were out working...and my cousins used to tell me that this was a mini Hollywood as there were stories to say that they slept with each other's wives..what a tale..but our innocence made us believe them!

We even were brave enough to visit the cemetries of  Bukit Serendit where my other maternal Aunty Indrani stayed with her in laws sometimes...and then we would come home and 'demand' for lunch. My poor Aunty would have cooked up a feast everyday as her 6 children had different tastes ....but we as were strictly brought up by my dad and would eat anything my aunty had cooked...and we were always praised for that by both my uncle and aunty...to the dislike of my 6 cousins...but all that was only at the dining table...after that we were friends again and out we went to do other naughty things around their house or maybe even just at the beach nearby.

I am also fond of my other cousins but it is these 6 Malacca cousins who taught us first about friendship and all that came with it...the tears and laughter...the falls and pains...the jealousy and praise and the list goes on.

Susie as we bid farewell to you today...I say thank you to you for all the good times in Malacca...for teaching me that it is alright for girls to wear shorts and t shirts.....its fine if we girls played football and other boy's games and be a tomboy...for teaching me that we have to honour our parents and look after them in their old age....and its okay if we do not work as our brothers should care for us....and lastly for being one of my sisters that I never had.

I also say thank you all my other cousins...life is so fragile so lets not just meet at weddings and funerals....but make efforts to meet on other occasions just to chat over a cup of coffee...as I always say...you my dear cousins are my first friends.

Susie standing on the far right with The Maniam Bunch

A good friend gone and never to be forgotten

Today morning started off by me getting ready in the morning to attend the funeral of Mr Clarence Leonard Danker who is the father of Lucy Danker who is married to my brother Sriram. Mr. Danker died at  a good age of 82 and his family gave him a grand send off at the Assumption Church in Petaling Jaya. At the time I was in church for the funeral and praying for all my needs and one of which was for a young man who had brain cancer...little did I know that he had passed away that very morning about 6am.

Alex Chai Siak Huat came into our home in 1997 to attend the Catholic Marriage Preparation Course with his lovely wife Denise Solosa. This young Buddhist man went through this Catholic teachings on marriage with such ease as he loved his then fiancee Denise very much and wanted only everything for her happiness. They have 3 lovely children together Danielle 11 , Sebastian 9 and Crystal who is 6. Every year without fail he would bring his family to visit us for Christmas bearing good wines for us and gifts for our children. He even gave us 7 nights accomodation in Bali on our first trip there in 2005.

He always cherished the teachings on marriage by the Catholic Church and held us in high esteem and always encouraged us to continue presenting the programme as he felt that guiding young couples into the right path of marriage was of utmost importance.

Very sadly he was diagnosed with a brain tumour in 2009 and went through chemo and radiation and he became fairly well and he even visited us last Christmas eventhough he was frail and weak. In January of this year the cancer recurred and affected his eyesight and voice. When I visited him last in SDMC he was as jovial eventhough he could not see me and promised to get well and come to our place for some more curries which he loved and even allowed me to pray for him.  And we kept in touch with Denise to keep track of his health.

And today we got the sad news that he had passed on...and when we went to the Nirvana Funeral parlour to pay our respects..all I could do was to stand at his coffin and cry and say the rosary at the same time. Seeing his lovely wife Denise standing so composed and the 3 children rallying around their father's coffin...made me realise that our precious life so very fragile and we should not take it or anyone for granted.

Alex we will always remember you for your laughter...wise words of wisdom.. for being a wonderful husband and a doting father...and most of all a good friend whom we will miss dearly. You are gone today and you will not be forgotten for all the years to come and we promise that for you we will continue to present the Catholic Marriage Preparation Course to young couples for as long as God wants us to.

Alex (with cap) enjoying Christmas dinner at our place on 25.12.2010

Bouncing Baby Boy

This day the 4th of August in 2006 the Shanmugam Family was blessed with  the first grandchild for our generation. My second brother Mohan and his wife Devi welcomed their first grandchild Mikkel Rahul Chen born to his parents Sangeetha Mohan  and Alvin Chen. Mikkel very quickly became the apple of everyone's eyes and the talk on everyone's lips. He was baptised on the 5th of September 2006 in Kuching and sadly on that day he lost his grandpa Mohan to a massive heart attack. My brother only got to hold him for 2 days before he went into a coma following the attack. And this boy Mikkel has every trait of his grandpa Mohan...from his temperament to his walk and talk. He is also adored by his paternal grandparents Cyril Chen and the late Eileen Chen .But I thank God my brother was able to see him and cherish him those two days.

Mikkel is  5 today and I went down to Kuching to celebrate his 5th birthday which was a Pirates of the Caribbean theme...his 4th was a Spider man theme...his 3rd was an Animal Kingdom theme...his 2nd a Dinosaur theme and his 1st was a Mickey Mouse theme. This boy is very fortunate as his Grandma Devi bakes all his themed cake and his parents celebrate his birthdays according to the theme he wants. And by the way he calls me Granthei..short for Grand Athei...Athei is a term used to address  your father's sister...so Sangeetha and other nieces and nephews call me Athei and I am Mikkel's Granthei.

He is a very intelligent lad and could differentiate the word hot from  spicy at the age of just 2.....and he could put a 100 piece jigsaw puzzle at the age of 3...now he is into computers and stuff. He goes to Smart Readers Kids at Tabuan Jaya and he is adored by all his teachers...and his fellow classmates for his humour and wit. His parents are both lawyers and there's no doubt this boy will grow up with an analytical mind.

I cherish every moment I can share with this young lad as I know he will outgrow his childish ways and soon enough become a young man with whom I have to argue my points with. Mikkel we love you dearly and we pray for God's endless blessings to be upon you and your parents always.




 

Mikkel at birth on 04.08.2006

Mikkel at his 1st birthday

Mikkel and his late Grandma Eileen Chen in 2009

Mikkel's 5th birthday

Mikkel with his papa and mummy

Mikkel and his Amama Devi

A wedding and a funeral

Today 30 years ago...it was history in the making when Prince Charles married Lady Diana Spencer in St Paul's Cathedral in London. All eyes were on this beautiful young damsel who took great courage in marrying a not so good looking Prince to become a Princess and a member of the British Royal Family. I for one was an ardent fan of Diana as she was born exactly a year after  me so I could somehow relate how she felt and went through life as a young lady. And I followed her eversince...in all the magazines she appeared and the TV interviews she did...and whenever she appeared on TV I would be watching out what she would be wearing and awed at how gorgeous she looked. So that day the 29th of July 1981 was the day we were all looking forward to  see this beautiful woman walk down the aisle....and witness the wedding of the year on TV of course.

But sadly on that same day...in the wee hours of the morning...we got a phonecall saying that my maternal uncle Letchumanan had suddenly died of a massive heart attack. It was a total shock for my mum and all of us as he was only 40 something and he was my mum's youngest brother. And he had just attended my 21st birthday earlier that month and I introduced David to him as my fiancee and he was very pleased with my choice of a life partner. My uncle and I were close so he always had wanted to know who I would marry someday. So this day 30 years ago...we had to rush to my aunty's side and be with her and her 3 young children...Nalli being the oldest was only 16 years old and in Form 5 and her two brothers were much younger than her. The mood was sombre and I remember just sitting in a corner with my mum and crying and comforting her at the same time. And it was no easy task watching people come by and scream and cry and my aunty would faint at times and of course the children cried all the time. And they had a dog...Goldie who just sat quietly by his coffin and later under the chair where his photo was placed...my uncle's ever faithful partner.

Then the funeral was over and families went home and my aunty Devi and her children had to cope with life and whatever that came by...but I remember vividly my cousin Nalli who took everything into her hands...learnt how to drive and went on to be a teacher and helped put her brothers through college and university and remained very faithfully by her mum's side. She is one person who went through a lot but always held her head high and remained the responsible person she is till today. And when I got married in 1983 she was my bridesmaid as she was the closest person I had as a sister. Today she is happily married with two sons of her own and teaches in a government school and is very much loved by her students.

Well in all that sadness I still remembered the wedding that already happened and I later viewed it on TV...and at the back of my mind always had thought that I had to attend a funeral of someone I loved on that same day.

Nalli and me at my 50th in 2010