A wedding and a funeral

Today 30 years ago...it was history in the making when Prince Charles married Lady Diana Spencer in St Paul's Cathedral in London. All eyes were on this beautiful young damsel who took great courage in marrying a not so good looking Prince to become a Princess and a member of the British Royal Family. I for one was an ardent fan of Diana as she was born exactly a year after  me so I could somehow relate how she felt and went through life as a young lady. And I followed her eversince...in all the magazines she appeared and the TV interviews she did...and whenever she appeared on TV I would be watching out what she would be wearing and awed at how gorgeous she looked. So that day the 29th of July 1981 was the day we were all looking forward to  see this beautiful woman walk down the aisle....and witness the wedding of the year on TV of course.

But sadly on that same day...in the wee hours of the morning...we got a phonecall saying that my maternal uncle Letchumanan had suddenly died of a massive heart attack. It was a total shock for my mum and all of us as he was only 40 something and he was my mum's youngest brother. And he had just attended my 21st birthday earlier that month and I introduced David to him as my fiancee and he was very pleased with my choice of a life partner. My uncle and I were close so he always had wanted to know who I would marry someday. So this day 30 years ago...we had to rush to my aunty's side and be with her and her 3 young children...Nalli being the oldest was only 16 years old and in Form 5 and her two brothers were much younger than her. The mood was sombre and I remember just sitting in a corner with my mum and crying and comforting her at the same time. And it was no easy task watching people come by and scream and cry and my aunty would faint at times and of course the children cried all the time. And they had a dog...Goldie who just sat quietly by his coffin and later under the chair where his photo was placed...my uncle's ever faithful partner.

Then the funeral was over and families went home and my aunty Devi and her children had to cope with life and whatever that came by...but I remember vividly my cousin Nalli who took everything into her hands...learnt how to drive and went on to be a teacher and helped put her brothers through college and university and remained very faithfully by her mum's side. She is one person who went through a lot but always held her head high and remained the responsible person she is till today. And when I got married in 1983 she was my bridesmaid as she was the closest person I had as a sister. Today she is happily married with two sons of her own and teaches in a government school and is very much loved by her students.

Well in all that sadness I still remembered the wedding that already happened and I later viewed it on TV...and at the back of my mind always had thought that I had to attend a funeral of someone I loved on that same day.

Nalli and me at my 50th in 2010

One fills our life and the other left a void

Today the 13th of July is a very memorable day for The Shanmugam clan as two of my parents granchildren were born on this day a year apart.

Sangeetha was born on this day in 1975 to my older brother Mohan and his wife Devi...my oldest niece....and my parents were overjoyed with her arrival...as she was a baby girl arriving 15 years after having me...finally another girl in the Shanmugam family. I remember vividly my father had to drive his Toyota 700 to Alor Setar to see her...and it took like forever as there were no highways. But seeing her after that long drive took all his tiredness away. Today she is a lawyer living in Kuching Sarawak and married to a wonderful man Alvin and is blessed with a fabulous son Mikkel Rahul Chen..who brings endless joy to our family. She would always try to come down as often as possible to see us and be with us although she lives far off...and I treasure the times we can spend together as I do with my other nephews and nieces.

Sangeetha and me at my 50th birthday party

Dheepak was born on this very day in 1976 to one of my twin brothers Jayaram and his wife Sheela....another very joyous day for the Shanmugams as my parents welcomed their first grandson. He was the talk of the Chinese Maternity Hospital as this baby was born with a double thumb on his left hand...he was indeed adored by everyone in the hospital especially the nurses of course. I remember clearly the day he was born and we went to see him...and the nurses just have to say bring that cute baby with the double thumb...and he was brought to us. My parents were so proud that their first two grandchildren...one girl and one boy shared the same birthday. Dheepak finished a degree in INTI College and went on to work with Honeywell. Very sadly he passed away on the 3rd of May 2006 after he suffered a massive heart attack...at the age of 29. Till to day we are all in shock over his death and it was the most difficult time for the family to realise what had hit us. We gave him a grand funeral befitting his personality...he left behind so  many friends and cousins, uncles and aunts...but most of all his parents and younger brother Kavin.  And as his brother Kavin said...if Dheepak were here today he would be so proud of how we are living our lives...as he lived life to the fullest.

Dheepak during a trip to India

My late mum with one year old Dheepak

It is your birthdays...so Happy Birthday darlings.....Sangeetha we love you for your life giving moments in our lives and we thank you....Dheepak thank you for all your love and warmth you brought into our lives and you have left a void in this family no one can fill.

Marriage may be a rollercoaster but its worth the ride.



At a restaurant 2011



Today David and I welcome 7 young couples into our home to journey with us through the CMPC Programme...we have been doing this since 1997 and this is our 15th year of meeting young couples who are ready to take that big step into marriage. The Catholic Marriage Preparation Course formerly known as Evenings for the Engaged is a programme designed for couples who want to get married in the Catholic Church. We do not prepare couples for marriage but instead they prepare themselves when they attend the 7 weeks course. We take each session that we start as a challenge as we meet all kinds of people that make up these couples who come from all kinds of backgrounds and cultures.

This set of couples who are journeying with us now a great group just like the others...they are constantly challenging us with questions and concepts. We try our level best to interact with them on all kinds of marital issues...but most of all we tell them to have God in their lives as their constant guide. And we tell them we do not have all the answers as all of us are made unique and we make the choices to make our marriage special and different from the rest. 

Our CMPC couples of 2011

David and I enjoy this sessions with these young couples as it always enhances our relationship with each other...and at the start of each programme we find ourselves falling in love with each other all over again....and of course find that God is always by our sides. Love we say is a decision...we must decide everyday of our lives to love this person we chose to marry...and communication is the vital ingredient in any marriage...once the silence begins...the cracks begin to show.

David is the love of my life and I enjoy every minute of my life with him...we enjoy each other so much that we are best travel buddies. We constantly remind ourselves that...life is short...make the best of each other...and most of all treasure each other as...we do not know when our Maker may call either of us. David and I  have decided that we will continue to run this programme as long as God want us to as it is pay back time for His Endless blessings upon us and our family.

My dear couples...all those who have journeyed with us and who are journeying with us now...all we can say is make your partner in life top priority...and always have God in the midst...and make your marriage an enjoyable one. Yes sometimes the going does get tough but we make ourselves tough to get it going. And as I always share with young couples in love...marriage may be a rollercoaster but its worth the ride.

CMPC Retreat at Port Dickson 2011

Holiday in Bali 2011

Holiday in France 2011

France 2011





Friends and Friendship

Today morning I woke up feeling very happy...like every other day with Our Good Lord....but today was a little extra special as I was going to meet my college friend for the first time after 32 years..yes I saw her last in 1979 when we left college after completing our Form 6 in Tunku Abdul Rahman College, Setapak , Kuala Lumpur. Yoga, as I fondly know her lives in Sydney now and we found each other on Facebook last year. I met her today at Mid Valley Megamall and it was not difficult to recognise her as she looks the same just a little older of course...as for me I have grown bigger...sideways of course...as I was really slim. It was great to see her..now married of course..with two young teenage boys. Oh we had so much to talk about especially our life after college....imagine 32 years had flown by...but when we were together it felt as though we were 19 again. We had coffee at the Nyonya Cafe in The Gardens...and of course the coffee had to come in the old chinese cup with a crack at the side of the plate or cup. It was awesome just catching up...and this is what friendship is all about...picking up where we left off so long ago....like we have been next to each other all the time.We parted after spending about 3 hours with each other with a promise that we will meet up again in Sydney in November this year. Thank you Yoga for a beautiful day.

Yoga and me at the Nyonya Cafe on 6th of July 2011

Yoga with the chinese cup of coffee

Earlier this year in May 2011...I met up with a former classmate of mine..had not seen her since 1977 when we left Convent Bukit Nanas after completing our Form 5. Josephine Harding now lives in Hemel Hempstead in England and we found each other on Facebook last year. I called her during my recent holiday in England and she invited us to her home. David gladly drove me after meeting Mike and Wendy Periam in Orpington Kent. As we reached her place her husband Patrick rushed over to greet us and she came soon after. Wow after 34 years and she was just her old bubbly self...we hugged....and we went upsatirs and were met by her two of four children..what a beautiful family. We chatted about old times...and her husband took us to visit the town and later we had dinner cooked by her. It was so good...great meeting her and her family..another friend found and a friendship re connected...Thank you Josephine for the lovely dinner and fellowship.

Josephine and me at her home in England

Last year in October David had a course to attend in Singapore and I tagged along to stay at the Marina Bay Sands Hotel....wow what a hotel...I felt rich and famous. And I met up with yet another college friend of mine...Rubina Sarwar. She came to pick me from the hotel and she is the same sweet girl from TAR College...I last met her in 1979 when we left college and she went on to marry Mr Chaudry and I joined the civil service. She cooked me such a big lunch and I got to meet her husband and children. It was just awesome to be with her...and she brought out old photos of us...oh gosh we were so young...19 and what a great time we had in college. We spent the whole afternoon together with a promise we will meet up again..either in KL or Singapore. Thank you Rubina for the reunion and putting the spark back into our old friendship...and not forgetting the lovely lunch you feasted me to.

Rubina and me at her home in Singapore

Last year on 2nd of July 2010 I turned 50 and my family gave me a home garden party and they invited my brothers and their families and my friends from school , office and church....it was indeed a night to remember as the party started at 7pm and ended at 7am the next morning. And my friends came from far and near and it was such a lovely time...and memorable for everyone.

Sooria my first and oldest friend from CBN

Vas my first friend when I started work

Noeline my friend from the Ministry

My church sisters Salene , Theresa and Yvonne

Anna my childhood friend from holidays in Malacca

Anna Miranda , Vas , Me , Sooria and Annaletchumi

I treasure my friends as I know they will always be there for me and I for them...and that what friendships should be...lasting forever...sustaining every storm . And many a time my friends have come in aid of me more than my siblings or their families. A friend should not only be there in happy times but more in sad...and each of these of my friends have been there throughout different stages in my life and I thank God for each one of them.

And I also salute all my other friends whose photos I do not have for always being there and journeying with me in my life....thank you for your friendship.

And through all these times in my life I have that one true friend who has been there for me in sickness and health and in good times and bad...he is my soulmate/lover/travel buddy and he indeed is my best friend...and we are best friends forever....and I thank My Good Lord everyday for bringing him into my life.





My best friend David

Bali The Island of The Gods

My darling husband treated me to a week long holiday in Bali as my birthday gift for this year....and what can I say...it was blissful...spending time with my soulmate/lover/travel buddy and best friend...on an island filled with beautiful people and awesome sandy beaches....and hundreds of Hindu Temples.....and cultures that entice your very being.

This is my third trip to Bali...the first being in 2005 with the family and the second in 2009 with David and I must say every time I visited this island it was a different experience all together. The island has so much to offer and it all depends on you how you want to experience it.

Well I thought I will start with my recent trip and share some photos from our earlier ones I made to this mystical island that keeps drawing me back although I say to myself that I want to visit other islands in Indonesia.

We arrived in Denpasar..the capital of Bali on the 22nd of June 2011 at the Ngurah Rai International Airport by Malaysia Airlines Flight MH851 which touched down at about 4.00pm...we share the same time zone with Bali. We cleared our bag and when we stepped out of the airport into the arrival hall...we saw an AVIS agent with a board and David's name on it. Yes we rented a car and this time they gave us a Daihatsu Xenia which looks like the Toyota Avanza. We got in and headed towards our hotel and after about 30 minutes we arrived at the Best Western Resort in Kuta...away from the actual beach area which was perfect. We checked in and after having a cool welcome drink we made our way to the room...and it was a very nice room...cost us about RM168.00 per night. So we relaxed for the evening and then we went to meet up with Keren, a friend's daughter who is studying to become a doctor at the Udayana University in Denpasar. It was good to meet up with this young lady and we took her to have dinner at the Sitara Indian Restaurant in Denpasar. Lovely dinner...good fellowship and the we sent her off very sadly though back to her place.

The  next morning we went to visit some of David's Balinese friends who are British Bikers in Tabanan...first to visit Pak Kadek who is an avid biker and now a Land Rover enthusiast...and then later to Pak Ngurah's workshop where he works on old British bikes. Later we had dinner at the hotel and were treated to a performance by some Balinese Dancers..and we retired to bed tired.

Keren and me at The Sitara Indian Restaurant

Best Western Kuta Poolside

The Best Western Resort Kuta

With the Balinese Dancers

Having a chat with Pak Kadek

On the 24th of June 2011 after a good breakfast we set off for Amed...Bali's best kept secret...a beautiful serene place where tourists go diving and snorkelling or just relax like us. After driving through the towns of Candidasa and Amalapura..we arrived at Amed. It is a must to remember that you cannot gauge a set time to arrive at a destination in Bali as the roads are narrow and the traffic is quite heavy. Amed welcomed us with her beautiful blue sea and awesome beaches. We checked into the Puri Wirata Resort and Spa and they gave us a seaview room which was very nice. We just relaxed and enjoyed the view and later had dinner at the hotel restaurant and later retired to our room. The next day after witnessing the most awesome sunrise from our room...saw us going to visit yet another biker friend of David's...George who is American and married to local Balinese lady , Eluh who have a lovely daughter Iona who is now 8 . They own Eka Purnama a resort that has beautiful diving spots where you can actually view a Japanese ship wreck when you go diving. We spent some time with them and had lunch there. Later we  set off to Sails a restaurant perched upon the hills in Amed overlooking the sea...for dinner. It was awesome..the food was good and we met a young lady..Vivian a Singaporean who was on her own. Lots of good stories were exchanged...and there was this beautiful wind constantly blowing into our faces. It was a night to remember....

This is heavenly Amed

The beautiful sunrise from our room

The seaview from our room

Puri Wirata Resort in Amed



Eluh , Iona and me at Eka Purnama

George and David talking about bikes



David and me at the Sails Restaurant

We left beautiful Amed on the 26th of June 2011 for Ubud...another beautiful part of Bali...no beaches but filled with numerous shops making and selling all sorts of  Balinese handicrafts. On the way there we stopped at Candidasa another beach area in the district of Karangasem. It is one of our favourite places because we frequent a little shop there where we get our handicrafts made by a Balinese artist. We bought a few pieces and went into Vincent's a lovely lounge to have a coffee. After a short break we drove onto Ubud through the narrowest and bumpiest of roads...and we finally arrived at the Bhanuswari Resort and Spa. which is about 15 minutes from the town centre. You know when you book these resorts online you never know what you are getting and when we looking out for this resort we thought it never existed but it did in the midst of vast padi fields...and it was beautiful. They gave us  a lovely room with a view of the green padi fields. We had lunch at the hotel and while David took a snooze..I went off to the spa for a 'mandi lulur'...every woman must experience this at least once in her lifetime. The spa lady first gives you an oil body massage..then a body scrub with green peas powder...then she pours fresh yougurt on the body and the you have  a bath in a tub filled with scented water and flowers..all for a mere RM90.00!! Wow that was awesome. Later we went into town for dinner and came back to the hotel for a rainy night's sleep.

Vincent's Lounge in Candidasa

Nusantara Crafts in Candidasa

Bhanuswari Resort Ubud

The bed in Bhanuswari Resort

The next day...the 27th of June 2011 saw us taking a slow drive back to Legian near Kuta...amd we checked into the Harmony Hotel...for the last 2 days of our trip. Here we just really relaxed and went shopping for small gifts and just enjoyed this touristy part of Bali. On one of our shopping sprees in Legian we were invited to a typical Balinese home which was behind the clothings shop and we met the most beautiful puppy there....but sadly we could not take him back when we left on the 29th of June 2011.

A Balinese home in Legian

We had to say bye to Bali and this little fella on the 29th of June 2011

                                                                 BALI 2009

St Francis Xavier's Church in Kuta

Goa Lawah Pura on the way to Candidasa

The beach in Candidasa

Iona and me when she was six

Sunset at Lovina Beach

Munduk with a view of one of the 3 lakes in Bedegul

Botanical Gardens in Bedegul

Botanical Gardens Bedegul

Pura Ulu Danu in Bedegul

David at Himpunan Motor Tua in Sanur

The Holy Spirit Cathedral in Denpasar